How Did It All Start?
It all started with recovery. The recovery from codependency, from constantly minimizing myself and from inner self-doubt.
I grew up in a small village surrounded by mountains. My most cheerful memories were climbing the trees, picking wild herbs, berries and mushrooms in the forest.
Besides this, I had also picked up the programming of my family, my culture and my society.
I loved to feel free playing in the forest but as my life was progressing, I started feeling heavier, collecting disempowering beliefs. I was a prisoner of my programs. It felt like wearing a tight corset, so tight that I could barely breathe.
I wanted to be loved and accepted and so I became a chameleon. I was constantly changing my colours to fit into different boxes of people. It got to a point where I didn’t know what my true colours were anymore. Who was I when I was not a daughter, a partner, a sister, a friend or an employee?
As I am writing this, I feel the stone in my throat, grief from the loss of the self.
One night, when I was arguing with my partner, he asked: “Can you not think for yourself?” It’s not that I can’t. I was just afraid of rejection, of doing or saying something wrong, of disappointing him.
I was constantly searching for his approval. I wanted to prove to him that I was enough and that I was worthy of love.
No amount of compliments could ever fill the void in me – the void of not feeling good enough. It was like starving but not being able to absorb any nutrients. I needed to start nourishing myself bit by bit with self-care and acknowledgement. To relearn how to receive and absorb love into my cells.
In this process, I realized that being a ‘chameleon’ has also a bright side. There is beauty in being adaptable and fluid like water.
This time I shape myself not in expectation of reward and love or fear of consequences.
I shape myself because I enjoy the creative expression of who I can be and what I can give to others. I feel inspired to share my liberation journey with others.
The liberation journey is a quest for self-empowerment. It’s a journey of unbecoming everything that isn’t truly you so that you discover and express your authentic self.
- it’s a journey towards liberation from the past, from the chains of the self-limiting beliefs and traumas
- it’s a journey towards fulfillment
- it’s a journey towards emotional maturity
- it’s a journey of courage and embracing responsibility
Whatever is holding you back, it’s time to set yourself free. I invite you to walk on this liberation journey with me. Will you join me?
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